When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
