I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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