I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
