Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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