you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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