I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
