Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
