Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
