how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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