I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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