i love accidental penises.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
