I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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