I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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