Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
