There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Are we still banned from the library?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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