Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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