we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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