I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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