What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
