What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
