he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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