just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
