you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
