i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dick very happy bro
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
