It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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