How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
