butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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