God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
