omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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