you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
