Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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