I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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