My first STD was from a foam party
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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