And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
