My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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