Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
