I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dear god my vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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