I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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