Porn is love you can see.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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