Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That accounts for only three of the penises
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
