I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
