The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
