I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
