Non-Jews are for practice
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.