so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.