oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son