i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores