Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes