That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
