If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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