smell my finger.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
