I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
