yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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