It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
