are you still at the devil's house?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
