Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They have beer where we have blood.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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