Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
