ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
