hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
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