They should really pass out barf bags in church
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
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There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We're too hungover to prance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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