No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
