And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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