I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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